That will probably be the name of my TLC special. It will run right after “Hoarding: Buried Alive” and right before their newest hit show about a cupcake shop run by a pregnant little person who is missing most of their limbs.
The offending table…
My husband and I only have one public fight on record. Which I think is pretty good, considering we’re going on 5+ years. It was early in our budding courtship and we were at a baseball tournament. Now, I have since evolved into a baseball fan (you will hear more about our Red Sox fanaticism), but at the time I was pretty disinterested. Long story short – instead of watching my beloved play baseball like a dutiful girlfriend, I went to my place of worship (Sentimental Journey Antiques) and purchased a table and mirror. Details are arguable – and fuzzy, as so much time has passed – but I may or may not have taken advantage of his partial inebriation, and he may or may not have been horrified when he discovered them in the truck, and there may or may not have been a highly public questioning about how much I paid for
…and its partner-in-crime, the mirror.
these because, by the way, they were hideous. Whatever. I love my table and mirror.
My list of strange antique purchases a bit long, admittedly. And Tanner loathes pretty much every purchase. He does tolerate them now, mainly because I’ve learned to buy most of them when he’s away at work and by the time he gets home, they’ve basically become permanent fixtures. That said, he does give a pretty strong eye roll and frustrated sigh whenever he is asked to move one of my treasures.
Anyway. A few weeks ago, I lured my husband and a couple of friends, to be referred to as E & H, to the Chuckwagon Cafe in Turner Valley (world’s best burgers – but don’t take my word for it, ask the Food Network). It was a beautiful Sunday in August, so the place was packed with motorbike enthusiasts from the city. Our lovely guests were not as comfortable with the country + biker venue I had chosen.
E: “I can’t believe you took me to a biker bar.”
Me: “These aren’t real bikers. Look, they’re applying sunscreen.”
Thankfully, the glorious breakfast we had eased any concerns they had. But I couldn’t stop there. I dragged them all to Black Diamond for an ice cream soda at Marv’s Classic Soda Shop. The ice cream soda was delicious, but that’s not the point to this particular story. On the way back to the truck, I saw it. A junk shop. And out front – a window from an old house.
Me: “OH MY GOD. I have been looking everywhere for one of these!”
Tanner: “For a crappy window from an old house?”
Me: (as indignantly as I can muster) “Yes.”
I darted into the store before he could say another word. Jackpot. There was another crappy window from an old house. I could barely contain my glee. I asked how much it would be for both windows.
The shopkeeper paused. “Well…I have them priced at $40 each. But I will let you have them both for $30.”
I had my wallet out before he finished the sentence. A bit of fumbling with the debit machine and those babies were mine.
Once I got them outside, I had to stand my ground. “Tanner, he gave me a wicked deal! I had to buy them. They were practically free.”
Tanner: “Don’t even try it. You would have paid $50 a piece.”
Me: “That’s beside the point. Look at these! They’re perfect!”
Tanner: “For what? What exactly are you going to do with these?”
He had me there. I had seen someone do something with old windows on Pinterest a while ago, so I knew I wanted old windows. I just couldn’t quite remember what I wanted them for. Admittedly, this is not the first time this has happened. I have a collection of antlers in my basement for various forgotten projects too.
Me: (again summoning my indignation) “The possibilities are literally endless. Honestly, you just have no faith in my vision.”
Tanner: (muttering) ”The last time you had a vision, you painted our spare bedroom fluorescent blue.”
I ignored his jab and went about securing the windows in the back of the truck for their journey home.
So now I have windows. And I still don’t know what to do with them.
My pretties…
I’ve been researching a few ideas on Pinterest, but can’t make up my mind. I could build a greenhouse, but I don’t garden. Someone built a kitchen island out of what looks like old windows, but something tells me that if I change all the plans for our kitchen remodel based on two windows I bought on a whim, I may find myself out on the street with my windows.
These are a few ideas I’m leaning towards. Any other suggestions?
Image from here.
Image from here.
